I loved Gray’s previous: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Naturally, it was great expectations that I picked up this work of his. Doing full justice to my lofty expectations, the book is smashing and totally relatable.
Complete with scientific research to back his statements and examples of everyday conversations and fights, the book touches on all aspects of why men and women fight. Psychological, biological, physical all these facets are covered in a thorough but captivating prose.
The chapters ‘Hardwired to be different’ and ‘ Stress hormones from Mars and Venus’ were eye openers. Who knew that everyday stresses and biological differences could cause so much harm? To quote a popular song T knows to hum: “now we’re stressed out”! The chapters ‘A Woman’s never ending To-Do List’ and ‘MrFixIt and Home Improvement Committee’ resonated hugely with me. The conversation examples seemed like straight out of our living room couch (or any of our friends).
I love the concrete examples and startling solutions. It demystifies so many myths and prejudices. I am still not sure how far I shall be able to follow, but hey, worth a shot.
After all, to quote the book:
“Life is a process of discovering that you have everything you need, and you always did.
Seven statements that were game changers for me:
-As men cling to old expectations, women are creating new expectations that are equally unrealistic. (Sad but true)
-By giving less, a woman can actually be more supportive of her partner. (Seriously??? Was my first reaction. The elaboration converted the skeptical me)
-A woman’s greatest challenge is to begin caring for herself as much as she is caring for others. (I should be super quick to embrace this but know from experience how hard it is to implement; so, the handy tips are helpful)
-When men have little to say, women often take it personally, as if he doesn’t want to share. (Hmmm… Point noted, MrGray)
– 90/10 solution and ‘Men are just like desserts’ principle. (Yes, you read that right. This statement, in fact is the headline of the concluding paragraph of the chapter.)
– Knowing when to hold your tongue is more powerful than saying the right things. (True but so difficult to follow)
– Mars Meeting and Venus Talks was both funny and sensible, and explained with details seems quite practical.
Overall, another excellent book by John Gray- witty, enlightening, relatable and practical!