I hate gym-ming. For all those fellow sufferers who cringe at the topic of exercising, here are my top reasons for not wanting to do so.
- Trips to the gym make you fat! You go there, watch sadly as fit toned bodies taunt your delicate person, you return home weepy, shamed and aching all over. Obviously one has to seek solace then somewhere. And the most convenient is a large dessert from the refrigerator. Guess what happens when you’ve tucked in the entire treat at one go? Simple, you’re back to square one and the miserable cycle continues.
- Gym clothes necessitate strict adherence to hirsute pursuits. What a waste of time, especially since I have convinced the better and taller half to like me the way God made me. 🙂
- Warm- up exercises (read stretching) hurt awfully bad.
- They say it takes 21 days to make a habit. Nobody ever mentions how long it takes to break one of a lifetime. (For example- laziness, putting off physical activities.) Well, because you don’t!
- Athletic, hot, young women have not been banned yet by law from gyms. I dare say this is a repeat of statement one. But so what? Important issues such as these are worth repeating.
- No separate sections exist for old people or hunks. The first instill extreme embarrassment in the physically fortunate while the latter inspire wasting precious time in idling away. I am sure everyone has at least once mused away Valuable hours on topics such as steroids, tummy tucks, plastic surgery and top tricks to stop oneself from making sheep eyes. 😦
- The television set placed in these places either display marvelously fit people leading further to the vicious circle as mentioned in point one or broadcasts how exercise equipment can cause you harm. Today, I watched a special programme on how people get admitted to ER after attempting to use the treadmill. And to think walking is supposed to be easy.
- I do not have a degree in advanced computing. Sure, I am an engineer. I love computers. But frankly, all these advanced machines with their sophisticated dashboards make me feel worse than I did in my Calculus class.
- Stop buttons do not respond to sweaty fingers. I don’t know why? The increase button sure does. It increases my pace and incline alarmingly at the slightest touch but the Stop never seems to understand that I really, really need to stop. Sigh.
- For those still unconvinced, here are two very good posts, by fellow bloggers on the same.
- http://reasonablyludicrous.com/2012/03/20/10-reasons-going-to-the-gym-is-the-worst/ by Reasonable Ludicrous.
- http://forkinmyeye.com/2012/02/29/getting-healthy-hurts-like-hell/ by ForkInMyEye.
Need I say any more?