I am one of identical twins. And that is I write about today. This article is a list of the FAQs asked by anyone who comes to know about me having a twin sister. That is why I maintain that Twindom [if I may liberally use this non-existent word] is amazing and yet infuriating when you are pestered with the same inane questions over and over again.
Here’s a list of the good and the bad. The retorts to the irritating ones I NEVER utter but ALWAYS THINK!
- Are you two really twins? No, you’re just long overdue for that eye checkup.
Of course, only exception is the middle aged gentleman who saw us AT the optician’s while trying on his new glasses. That was the one lone incident where I was happy to myself furnish the statement “Yes, we really are Twins!” Lord, but was that man relieved.
- How do people distinguish between you two? They don’t! They just guess.
- Do your parents get confused between you two? Nope. After enjoying the luxury of nighttime feeding, diaper changing, potty training, baby wailing, food tantrums, teenage trouble all in twos, I really do not think anyone would.
- How do you distinguish between yourselves? Um… Dunno? Really now, that IS the dumbest think I have ever been asked!
- Can you two telepathically connect? We went to the same school, college, worked for the same company, are now living in the same country. Plus, we both have the same phone plans – so calls are free and we hold Skype accounts. I should think we do not need to.
- Do you dress similarly?
Plenty of times. And most people I know love to buy us stuff just so they can experience buying absolutely identical sets- going to great lengths to ensure this. Salespeople, I’m sorry for any inconveniences.
- Are all your tastes similar? We are twins not clones.
- Do you play tricks on people since you are twins? Actually, we never needed to. Most folks were confused already.
- Did you use your being one of twins to bunk classes? Do you even know how much attention you garner when you are one of twins? Do you seriously think my professors would not notice one of our missing beaming faces?
- Do you call in sick at work and ask her to go instead? And pray, who will do mine?
- Do you fall sick when she does? We have the same genes, travel in the same circles. Is not the answer to that question logically yes?
- Does she feel what you do?
This question I am convinced is inspired by too many movies on Twins. Bollywood and Hollywood both are to blame for this question to crop up unfailingly in most conversations.
Being one of twins does not entail twitching, dancing and doing everything at exactly the same time and in same manner as each other. We are not units manufactured on an assembly line. Stop believing those countless dumb movies.
Yes, we are perceptive to each other’s needs and feelings, maybe more than regular sibling. We do sync easily and share a bond more intimate and warmer than plain sisters. Add our years of togetherness, of being complementary to each other and you get a wonderful relationship and a great team.
But that is still no excuse to ask me if I will physically feel if you slap her? Honestly, how does one contain one’s temper at such moronic but sincerely asked statements. I positively itch to reply, “Oh well, my hand instantly pounds you in reflex.” Will that answer your query?